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Newsletter 04

FourFax Newsletter #4

26 May 2002 by Chris Parker

In This Issue

  • The Committee Slaves Away
  • The 90th Anniversary Reunion – Full Details
  • The Membership Database – Who’s Joined
  • ‘Not Members’ Database – Where Are They Now?
  • Squadron News – March 2002
  • News From Members (And Some Non-Members)
  • Shiny Two – Strange Noises From The Hangar Next Door
  • Concorde Electric Seat Runaway Procedure
  • The Web Site – What’s There And What’s New
  • The Message Board
  • Contact FourFax – Who’s Who And How To Contact Them

Introduction

Welcome to FourFax Newsletter #4. Planning for the 90th Anniversary Reunion in September is just about complete – more details below.

Membership is now up to 273, a fantastic increase of over 100 in two months! Thanks for passing the word on. Can we make it 350 by September? By the way, did anybody else read the Three Sqn Association article in this month’s Aeroplane Monthly? Lots of bleating about how 3 (F) was formed first but everybody thinks they’re third. I hadn’t realised that their sense of humour failure occurred so long ago! Explains a lot…

Please register for OUR Association at the web site if you haven’t already done so (Kit, Ori! – it’s time to name and shame!).

The Committee

Steve Page has kindly volunteered to join the committee as Secretary. Steve was on the Sqn from 1983-1986 and again from 1990-1992, and he’s presently working at AEDIT at Cottesmore. We also have Andy Pickard (serving on the Sqn now) as Deputy Social and Steve Berry (also serving now) helping James Hunter on the 90th preparations on the Sqn side. That brings the committee up to 13: Tony McKeon (President), Andy Suddards (OC IV AC) Sqn), Steve Page (Secretary), myself (Comms), Nick Ireland (Deputy Comms), Steve Cheeseman (Treasurer), Manny Chohan (Social), Andy Pickard (Deputy Social), Syd Morris (Sports), Charlie Davis (USMC rep), Marc Frith (USAF rep) and Jamie Hunter and Steve Berry (organising the Sqn’s preparations for the 90th).

Our last meeting was held on 29 April at which the details and costings for the 90th Anniversary reunion were finalised (details coming right up). The next committee meeting is planned for Wednesday 12 June at RAF Cottesmore to allow my wine cellar a chance to recover.

The 90th Anniversary Reunion: Quick Update

Reunion events and costs have now been finalised. For those of you fully up-to-speed with the story so far, the main changes since the last newsletter are:

  • The Booking Page is now on the web site
  • The Meet & Greet will start at 1800 hours on Friday 27 September in the Airmens’ Mess/Rugby Club (1st Floor)
  • The Meet & Greet will be free to anyone attending the Saturday dinner, otherwise a charge of ?10 will be levied
  • Saturday archery is cancelled due to lack of interest
  • 18 holes of golf on the station 9-hole course will cost ?6
  • Anybody wishing to play 18 holes of golf off the station on Friday afternoon or Saturday morning should contact Syd Morris by e-mail
  • Karting will cost ?5 for six laps
  • Clay pigeon shooting will cost ?3.50 for twenty clays
  • The Saturday BBQ on the Sqn will cost ?5 for adults and ?2.50 for children under 16
  • A 5-piece Jazz Band has been booked to play until midnight and a disco will continue up to 0200
  • The dinner will cost ?25 per head, excluding drinks
  • Accommodation in the SNCOs’ and Officers’ Messes needs to be booked directly with the Mess – see below for rates and the contact address
  • Strike Command is producing a free Sqn History brochure for us – at around 60 pages it should be quite good

The 90th Anniversary Reunion: The Whole Story

Reunion information

Pre-Registered For The Reunion

The following members have either booked or pre-registered for the reunion: Jamie Allen (Jan 81-Oct 83), Robert Apthorpe (Nov 97-Nov 90), Simon Barnes (Oct 87-Mar 90), Bob Begg (1977-1980), Steve Berry (Jun 01-Present), Dave Bradshaw, Billy Bretherton (81-84), Steve Broadhead (Jun 96-Apr 99), James ‘George’ Brown (Mar 88-Mar 91), Adrian Bushell (Dec 81-Jul 84), John Cater (56-59), Greg Crawford (93-96), Mick Fraser (Jan 82-Jan 85), David Haines (Jul 94-Jan 99), Rob Hartley (82-84), Les Hendry (80-82), Jock Heron (Oct 72-Oct 75), Dick Hocking (80-83), Al Holman (Apr 77-Feb 80), John Horan (Jul 78-Aug 80), Neil Horan (Nov 85-Oct 90), James Hunter (2000-present), Nick Ireland (Nov 2000-present), Pat King (61-63 and 70-72), Pete Lees (Nov 78-Feb 82), Mark Linney (Sep 92-Nov 95), Ross MacDonald (82-85), Paul Mackie (Jan 82-Aug 84), Bob Marston (Jan 78-Nov 80), Peter Martin (75-78), Mac McCrudden (Nov 83-Nov 86), Tony McKeon (Nov 75-Sep 77 and Aug 82-May 85), Tom Milford (Feb 95-Oct 98), Tony Norris (May 85-Sep 88), Patrick O’Donnell (85-90 and 94-95), Mike O’Gorman (Sep 81-Mar 85), Chris Parker (Nov 79-Dec 84), Tony Pearce (May 54-Feb 57), Gary Pheasant (Dec 86-Oct 88), Al Pinner (Jan 93-Dec 95 and Nov 99-Mar 02), John Plant (77-80), Andrew Reed (Jan 85-Jan 88), Barny Robins (Nov 82-Nov 85), Michael Rutland (Oct 01-present), Rob Shand (Apr 00-present), Keith Skinner (Mar 00-present), Tim Smith (Jun 70-Dec 71), Andrew Suddards (93-96 and 01-present), Mo Tiwana (Dec 69-May 72 and Jun 70-Dec 72), Pete Webb (Aug 80-Jul 83), Stuart White (Jan 80-Jul 82 and Apr 86-Apr 91), Paul Winstone (Nov 80-Nov 83 and 89-91).

Thanks for pre-registering, it was a great help. The Booking Page has changed somewhat from the Pre-Register Page as the planning has progressed (the RAF Police need details of drivers and vehicles, for example). Can I therefore ask those of you who pre-registered to return to the web site and complete the new Booking Form? Sorry for the inconvenience, but it’s the only way to make sure we have the right information…

Membership Database

The membership list has been updated again and can be found in the Members’ section. When I get a spare three weeks or so I’m going to learn PERL and PHP programming so the database will be accessible from the web site. We might even get to the stage where you’ll be able to update your own details on-line. Maybe.

“Not Members” Database

We’re slowly receiving registrations from ex-members of the squadron whom I don’t have contact details for. Please take a look at these names – if you are in contact with anyone on this list please pester them to sign up on the Registration page and/or forward their details to me. Some of these people are quite well known (still serving in the RAF, for example, or flying for the airlines) and I’d like to get as many of them as possible on board in time for the reunion. Especially the ex-bosses…

Squadron News – March 2002

Sqn News March 2002

News From Members

** From Rod Jones (1967-69): I have been talking with Collin Medhurst and we are hoping to jog each others memories re names. He is also looking for old pic’s… How come there is no mention of Sqn Ldr Hopkins or Ken Petrie in the database? He also became a Sqn Ldr before Hoppy left and for a time we had two Bosses (if that’s possible). I was sad to see so few names I recognized. Don’t have a clue where they all went either. Ah well. Glad you made the effort to keep us all together.

Does anyone have access to Official Squadron Photographs? Back at Gutersloh in 1967/68, we had a Sqn photo taken by the station photographer. We were grouped around 2 FR 10’s in front of the hangar. Everyone was there. If this photo is in the Sqn archives, is there any chance of getting a copy? I presume the Squadron keeps a record of its history. And when did the (AC) get put into the Squadron name? I don’t remember that at all… [Ken has written in by snail-mail so I hope he’ll be able to make the reunion. The Sqn diaries will be on display at the reunion – we’ll look into getting some of the old photos reproduced – Chris]

** From Tim Ellison (1985-89): Just read Al Pinner’s mail ref fundraising for disabled flyers. I think this would be an excellent idea and as I see my name was mentioned, perhaps I could take this opportunity to bring you up to date with the British Disabled Flying Club (BDFC).

The BDFC was founded several years ago, by myself and another disabled pilot, to improve the situation and opportunities for disabled pilots or prospective disabled pilots in the UK. We now have over 300 members and achieved registered charity status 2 yrs ago. We publish a quarterly newsletter and each year hold up to 15 ‘fly ins’ at various airfields up and down the country where we invite disabled people from the local communities to come and fly with us, either for instruction or just for pleasure.

We also work hard with the CAA and other flying organisations to improve legislation and technical equipment to help disabled people fly. Our greatest achievement has been to change existing legislation that initially prevented disabled people from even flying solo, to the present situation, where a disabled person can now hold a commercial licence (I became the first paraplegic in Europe to gain a commercial licence). Our ultimate goal is to provide a flying school here in the UK, which specialises in training disabled people, and will award flying scholarships and subsidised flying training to suitable candidates.

All our staff are volunteers and we provide our time and, where applicable our aeroplanes, free of charge. However, we have a lot of costs and need to raise money continually to keep going. With this in mind, any money raised on the BDFC’s behalf would be most gratefully received and I would like to put the BDFC forward as a suitable recipient of such monies. [We discussed this at the last committee meeting but failed to come up with any good ideas how we could raise money at the reunion. Any suggestions anybody? – Chris]

** From Paul Mackie (Jan 82-Aug 84): I have a couple of questions that I hope you are able to answer ref the 90th Anniversary. Firstly, is the accommodation on camp available to serving members only and if not, who should I approach to ascertain availability and am I limited to certain accommodation as I left the services as a junior rank? Secondly, is there still a membership fee for the Four Squadron Association? Thirdly, are you aware there are quite a few 4 Sqn members listed on the friends reunited site? Click on find workplace, enter RAF Gutersloh and then 4 Sqn to find the names. [Answers, in order: accommodation is available on base to everybody; serving members should book into their own Mess, civilians may book wherever they like. There is no membership fee at present for the Four Squadron Association. Members who are serving on the Sqn are automatically granted membership while they’re on the Sqn (they still need to register, though). We may need to introduce a fee at some stage in the future but I don’t expect it to exceed ?5 per year. Life Members from the ‘old’ FourFax will have their Life Membership respected. Thanks for the pointer to the ForcesReunited web site. They’ve kindly listed our association and reunion on their site, and I’ve also got us listed on the BBC’s ?We’ll Meet Again web site – Chris]

** From Dave Wallace (Associate Member): Thanks for including me, as my 1(F) mates do not appear to have the panache you and IV have! [Thanks Dave, we always knew that! – Chris]

** From Puddy Catt (Opposition): You do me an honour I do not deserve Sir! Although II (AC) Squadron had the next hangar at Gutersloh, that was as near as I ever got to IV. I see Mike Seyd from time to time. He lives in Orkney but is using a B & B in Plymouth as he now flies Dartmouth cadets in plastic aeroplanes. He has news of several members of IV from the late 60’s period. Al Mathie was at Wrexham driving buses for a local corporation I think, but Mike reckons he has moved to Lincolnshire. If you see a very elderly Auster pottering about, that might be Al. I recall reading, I think in the Sultan of Oman’s Association newsletter, that Bill Shepherd was living in the Lake District and writing a magnum opus. If you have Mike’s address I am sure he would be able to help you further, otherwise I can pass it on if he wishes me to do so.

On the way to have my Yamaha T-Max services this morning, I picked up a copy of the RAF Yearbook. The changes are quite remarkable over the years. Marksmanship has virtually disappeared and everything is done by the onboard computers and the weapons themselves. The RAF Eurofighters will only carry a gun as ballast until they have trialled the balance and then it will probably be removed. I asked a couple of students in the pub if they knew what a slide-rule is – completely blank stares, but this may well have been their normal expressions.

The T-Max reminds me in some ways of the joys I had flying Tiger Moths nearly fifty years ago although I try to avoid aerobatics and I reckon the T-Max is slightly faster straight and level. I do not have a telephone, so no internet, e-mail or other means of messages from outer space and it looks like mails will become scarce too if the government gets its way. Luddites are alive and well and living in Walwyns’ Castle. With good wishes for your quest, sincerly, Puddy.

** From Kit Adams (Apr 74-Sep 77): How are you old bean? Glad to see that Fourfax has been resurrected – good for you. I think I’m a ‘life member’ aren’t I? Still managing to survive the Cathay adventure but only 2 years to go so will stick it out – hopefully. Trust you are all well and prospering – my spies tell me that’s so. I’m now based in Amsterdam and commuting back here which is a delight after 3 years of JFK. [We’re all fine over here in Blighty – my spies tell me you’re engaged to be married in the Autumn – register or I’ll spill some more beans on you – Chris]

** From Harry Karl (Oct 85-Nov 88): Long time no hear. I must admit I thought the association must have been taken over by someone else as after I wrote a cheque for lifetime membership. Unfortunately Sue and I will be in Cardiff in August for her father’s 80th birthday so we won’t be able to make the Sept reunion. [Can you put a date in your diary for the 100th? – Chris]

** From Malcolm White (May 90-Nov 91): Gary Pheasant copied me a mail concerning the 90th bash – having effectively left the RAF in ’97 for two “joint appointments” and then the services altogether to join Northrop Grumman, I have rather lost touch! I have a horrible feeling, even at this early stage, that on the weekend of the bash I will be away – but I will seek to change that and as time is on my side I should be successful. I assume you are still flying the “big birds”, and hope that the recent down turn has not affected you as it has some of my other chums. Life with Northrop Grumman is fascinating and busy. Lots of travel, some interesting kit from postal sorting machines to Global Hawk and a serious second career which I never thought I would achieve, having left my move to civy street rather late!

** From Marc ‘Rambo’ Frith (Dec 85-Nov 87): I’ve got the dates on my calendar and will try and bid the time off when Sep comes – you know how that goes!!!???? Let us know what we can do for you here in the colonies! Last time I saw Mick Dove was when he was on the NATO Staff in Naples and I was in Turkey – I’ll look at the AF Records and try and track him down.

Tomorrow is Marshall’s High School graduation. He accepted an appointment to the United States Naval Academy and will report to Annapolis, Maryland on Jun 28. I signed a form to swear him in – now I’ve got to “adjust” a uniform to fit which is required even for us old retired guys. We lost our grievance with Delta management to Force Majure (Force Manure) and the furloughs continue at Delta. I won’t be on the dole but I will be pushed back to reserve status in the next month or so. That will stink…

We’re off to the Atlantis Resort at the end of the month on another “family vacation” to celebrate Marshall’s High School graduation. I’ve declared that we will all meet for breakfast and dinner every day as the food there is the most expensive part of the trip! Harrison is 21 now and Marshall is 18 and all they have is girls, drinking, sun, and sleeping (better be alone!!!) on the mind. Looking forward to the reunion. I feel like bit of a 5th wheel over here in the colonies but it looks like a great plan coming together!

** From Richard Elwell (Apr 82-Jul 84): I got a bit of a shock since I last contacted FourFax. I was sitting having a bite to eat prior to driving to Liverpool for a night shift when the phone rang – it was the ops director of Emerald Airways to say don’t come in to work tonight and your p45 is in the post! Well, as you can imagine, that came as a bit of blow, however, the good thing was that I didn’t like working there anyway. The company, I found out later, doesn’t have a good reputation in the civil aviation world. I’ve been sending my CV out left right and centre. I was recently at Lancashire Fire Brigade HQ to see about a vacancy in the control, the only thing that worries me about that job is I’ve got to do a typing test 30 words a minute, so I’m writing t h i s v e r y f a s t !

When I said that Emerald didn’t have any ex-military pilots I was slightly wrong: they don’t have any ex-RAF fast jet pilots. They have one ex-Nimrod pilot and a couple of ex-Nimrod AEOps and would you believe, an ex-USAF F-111 pilot? He’s married to a Brit. On the subject of RAF pilots I forgot to mention that when I was at Cranwell one of our creamies was a young lad called McKeon, yes, Tony’s son! Last I heard he was on 1(F). About the only good thing I can say about being unemployed is the fact that I’ve been able to watch Preston North End play more often, although some people may say that’s not such a good thing! All the best.

** From Alan Pollock (Jun 57-Jun 58): To some Shiny Four Mafiosi – not certain how many of you have had this or bits of it before – I was only an intruder for 11 months between the two 26s … 26 was of course closely linked with 4 in the Army Co-operation era – we’re still in touch with some Atlas, Audax, Hector & a few more Lysander 26 blokes. Note for Chris: Stanford Howard died young many years ago, which others who knew him better will be able to corroborate. I will try and send out some letters to the other names I gave you, not on E-mail – Gerry Eades has odd probs with his server and will chase him up too. [Thanks Alan – Chris]

** From Chris Danner (80s): Thanks for the password, it was great to see all the old mates’ names on the database, quite a blast from the past! I intend to come to the reunion in September, work permitting. Getting any time off to go to the U.K. is like pulling teeth!… I’ll think of something!

** From Jock Heron (Oct 72-Oct 75): Delighted to hear from you with the Op Order for Sep; I thought that the IV (AC) Sqn Assoc had disappeared! So, well done for its resurrection and for reaching us and I plan to be at Cottesmore.

** From Pete Russell (Nov 94-Nov 00): Spent my years on Happy Four as the bar manager and Ents Member. If you should require any help with any of the reunion arrangements I would be more than happy to oblige. Are you aware that there is now a purpose-built bar within IV (AC) Sqn hangar? At the minute it has draught (John Smith’s Smooth, Warsteiner, Fosters) and also serves wines and spirits. I actually built the thing with Sgt Graham Ritchie, and am immensely proud of the results. [Pete and Barny Robins (Nov 82 – Nov 85) are producing some great name tags for the reunion. Thanks for the offer of help, we’ll be in touch closer to the time – Chris]

** From Billy Bretherton (81-84): Just to say thanks to everyone who has been e-mailing me. Just let the boys know I am not as bad as I used to be – settled down nicely, well sort of. Looking forward to the reunion, and I promise to behave! Hey Chris, my last memory of Gutersloh was rear party for Ex Lionheart. You were my last departure for the field at H.A.S.3 and we could not find the hyd hand pump handle cover panel so we borrowed from a u/s a/c , got you away ON TIME … Then, as we were packing up, the b*******s gave me a tech charge for the panel! (Oh happy days.) Take care now as we are all getting on a bit. It’s hard to believe I was only a teenager when I went to 4 and now I’m rapidly approaching the big 40. [Some of us have got there! – Chris]

** From Ted Ball (Nov 76-Feb 80): As ever, unable to predict roster/leave at the moment for Sept. However, If I can make it I will. Same probably goes for others out here in Hong Kong. Keep up the good work. Life goes on here quite well and looking up business-wise. I am on a 747-400 course after 16 years on the Classic! Starting to quite like glass! [Look on the -400 as a stepping stone to the Airbus! – Chris]

** From Lance Brook (81-92): Very nice to be in touch with you and the IV (AC) Sqn Association again – I thought it had died a natural death! We settled in Scotland, 30 odd miles from Lossiemouth on my retirement in ’91. Have enjoyed every minute of it – no contact with the military or “whinging” pilots! I think more have seen us (left the GR of our house and a marked map with the Sqn before I left. Map reading was always a difficult discipline for some!). Anyway, very pleased to be in contact once again, and we too are looking forward to the resurrection of IV (AC) Sqn Association. [“Whinging” pilots? Shurely shome mistake – Chris]

** From Dave “Linpig” Linney (Feb 74-Aug 77): Great to get your letter with news of the new arrangements for the Association. I have tried to get on to the web site but with no success, having tried numerous search engines. Still I will persevere as I am a bit of a luddite on the computer! We are still in Somerset and I am still flying Falcons at Bournemouth and the SE5 A and Cub from the strip at home. Don’t fancy a Sunbeam Alpine I suppose! [Once bitten, twice shy! – Chris]

** From Al Holman (Apr 77-Feb 80): Nice job with the web site. Are you still with Cathay or are you now working for your money?? I have moved into the corporate world operating a 319CJ. It certainly is different to the airline life and much more satisfying in many ways. Life in the airlines after 911 has become too restrictive and boring for me. Must go – have to read your newsletter 3. [Make that 4! – Chris]

** From Stephen Baxendale (85-90 and 93-00): I certainly think that I remember you or if I am right you had a brother that was groundcrew at that time in Gut. [No, not me! – Chris] I do know quite a few that you have either mentioned in the text and will endeavour to get to the 90th reunion. I remember the 75th and had a fantastic time. I know Syd Morris, and also Tony McKeon as he was not only on the Squadron, but Station Commander, and also assisted teaching his son golf. Will look forward to keeping in touch with the old pals from Happy Four. I always wondered what had happened to Alan Ashby, as he had the most data for the history on IV (AC) in the late 90’s. I am currently at RAF Wyton on the Harrier IPT in the Har2Mech area if required. [Anybody know the whereabouts of Alan Ashby? – Chris]

** From Martin Parker (90-93 and 96-00): The Sqn was at Gutersloh when I first arrived and I moved to Laarbruch with the Sqn when Gutersloh closed. I left in 1993 but returned to Laarbruch in 1996 for a second tour and moved to Cottesmore with Happy Four when that closed. My wife and I are discussing the reunion at the moment and hope to drag along other ex-4 Sqn members who are hiding up here in the Highlands.

** From Jarrod Cotter (87-89): Would love to make it to the reunion, sounds like a great weekend. Flying display too, can’t be bad! I’ll gladly give it some pre-publicity in our ‘Ops Board’ page if you’d like. [Jarrod works for Flypast magazine – Chris] Have trawled the website and think it’s a great way of running the Association. When I left the squadron I was given an application form to join the Association which I still have, and was thinking about filling it in but wondered how out of date it must be by now – guess the website answers my question! I absolutely love the photo of the GR.3 at Gut – it’s stunning! If you would like I could perhaps send you some of mine via e-mail for the site – you’d have to let me know what resolution you need. I have a series of Wg Cdr Gault taxying in to HAS 7 after the last ever IV Sqn photo recce sortie for example. “Photo recce? What’s that?” I hear the GR.7 boys say. Hope the other members will enjoy seeing pics of steam driven Harriers! I’ll sort a few more out, not worth having a photog around if he can’t provide any pics![Thanks for the GR3 piccie, it’s now on the web site. Photos are always welcome – Chris]

** From Mike Gilbert (Jun 70-Oct 70 and Jun 75-Jun78): Great to be reminded of all the names I had forgotten. I can never put a name to the face but can always put face to a name (if you know what I mean). If you are interested, I have some slides of when the squadron arrived at Wildenrath. As soon as I get hold of a slide scanner I can zap them over to you. I am also in contact with a few guys from 1970. Ron Regan and John Finnegan of INAS fame and Roy Harrison (electrician) seem to be missing from your list so I will give them a call. [Yes to the piccies! – Chris]

** From Phil Brown (Mar 01-present): I have been putting together the Sqn history, taking exerts from Alan’s account and producing a new Sqn history. The overall product will be about 60 odd pages long, with plenty of photos. I envisage that it will cover from formation up to 2002, ending with what the Sqn is up to this year. The previous edition did not have much about the Sqn from the 1950s onwards, so I intend to expand this section somewhat. Additionally areas such as Belize have not been covered adequately, nor has the period spent in Italy during the 90s. The new and improved history will be produced free of charge by Strike Command and will definitely be available in time for the 90th anniversary!

Shiny Two

See Hunters at Gutersloh in the Stories section

Concorde Electric Seat Runaway Procedure

The following is from “To Fly The Concorde” by Ken Larsen. Mr. Larsen quotes an unknown student in Concorde training.

Runaway Electric Seat Procedure

  1. Initial Action: Determine which seat is running away. During the stress of routine operations, it is possible to mistake which seat is running away. Example: if the captain’s seat is out of control forward, it shall appear to the captain that the first officer’s is running backwards. This is a common form of disorientation and will only last until the captain is emasculated on the control column. Do not disengage the autopilot at this time as a violent pitch down will result. In order to determine which seat is the runaway, suggested procedure is to awaken the flight engineer for trouble shooting.

  2. Silence Aural Warnings: With the advent of a runaway seat, crew members describe noises of a low rumbling nature, followed by the words “Jesus, my seat is out of control,” followed by a piercing scream of increasing intensity and pitch, especially in the case of forward runaways. As with all emergencies and in order to comply with regulations, the first officer will silence the aural warnings by clamping a hand over the captain’s mouth and advise, “captains mouth — shut.” From this point on, refer to the checklist located on the underside of the captain’s seat cushion.

  3. Jammed Balls: Should the seat runaway in the forward mode, the ball bearings will interlock and jab the seat when it is four inches from the control panel. The seat will then be stuck in the forward position and will travel no further forward, but begin travelling up in a vertical mode. The captain will advise crew, “I have jammed ball,” the flight engineer will immediately refer to the Captain’s Jammed Balls Checklist located in the aft lavatory. It is imperative that the crew check for control column damage at this time. If the control column is broken, the crew will immediately advise dispatch that the captain has a broken stick and jammed balls.

  4. Circuit Breaker — Pull: The flight engineer will at this time pull the appropriate circuit breaker to prevent the seat from running up further in the vertical mode which could cause the bearings to overheat and and possibly result in a ball burst. This would necessitate the use of the Broken Ball Checklist. Since the engineer can rarely find the correct CB, it is suggested that any CB be picked at random and pulled, so as not to delay completion of the checklist. Example: Pull #1 CB; captain’s position will prevent him from cross-checking this step.

  5. Fire — Check: When the seat bearings jam and stop forward seat travel, the electric motor may short out and start a fire under the captain, resulting in a captain’s lower aft body overheat. The flight engineer will immediately advise the captain of the fire, to which the captain will reply, “Fire, my butt.”

  6. Seat up — Up: Should the seat continue to run away in the vertical mode, the first officer will advise “seat up,” to which the captain will reply “molxjrmne craxmby.” Captains reply will vary with height to which his seat has risen. It is suggested procedure to place a pillow on the captain’s head and land at the nearest suitable airport.